As Amazon Associates and affiliates of several brands, the use of some of our links can be a potential financial benefit to us. To learn more about affiliates and to see the full disclosure you can click here.
Nobody knows better who makes a good dinner party guest than a host. I have been hosting now for over 10 years, and in the time, some things have become very obvious in terms of who does, and does not, get an invite back. It’s hard to be fired as a dinner party guest, you essentially have to ruin the evening. It’s super easy however, to become a host’s favorite guest.
A good dinner party guest is considerate and shows their appreciation for the host, but they also play well with the other guests. They help maintain the tone that the host has set and make the night enjoyable for everyone.
Hosting can be so overwhelming for the person orchestrating the dinner party, so being considerate and a good guest will allow them one less thing to worry about. Being a good guest also gives you a place to channel any energy, or nerves, for the night. Even better if you have a cheat code. Here are those cheat codes, 6 super easy-to-do tips that will ensure you an invite back every time.
1. Communicate Well
Communication with your host is a major key to an enjoyable evening for you and them. However, communication begins well before the event. The first part of being a good guest is to pay attention to the RSVP. Respond by the deadline, fill out any information the host asks of you, and pay attention to how many the RSVP is for. Never try to add more people to the RSVP without asking the host directly.
Communicate any dietary restrictions or allergies directly to the host. If there is not a place to do so when RSVPing, just shoot them a quick message as soon as you know you’re coming. This will give them time to make adjustments to the menu, which is often planned well ahead of time.
2. Arrive on Time
While some parties may not depend on timing, so you can ease in and out as you please, dinner parties are not so. There is often a short buffer before dinner to allow everyone to arrive, get aquainted, and get drinks. After that, dinner is served, which means you need to arrive at the time on the invitation. A good rule of thumb is 5 to 10 minutes early or late is acceptable but try your best not to be too early or too late.
Being too early puts you at risk of interfering with the host’s final details and being late interrupts dinner, and everyone else’s experience. If you are going to be late due to circumstances out of your control, shoot the host a message as soon as you are aware to let them know. Try not to call as they usually have their hands full at this time.
3. Bring Something
A gift for the host is not necessary, but it is customary and welcomed. It does not have to be anything extravagant, especially if you find yourself frequenting this particular host’s home. However, if it is you first time at this person’s home, or a special occasion, it will show that you are appreciative of the invite.
What to bring can be a bit tricky. A quick search of what to bring to a host usually results in food, wine, or flowers. While any gift is welcome, some of them create more work for the host or just scream low-effort. Food is often perishable and taking up space, and the host has to stop what they are doing to attend to it. Flowers are also welcome, but they can also create more work for host. Here is an easy guide and some ideas for what you can bring!
What To Bring
- Things for The Home
- Something that you know they could use but don’t have like a Caviar Bowl
- Something that is a safe bet for someone who likes to host like this CB2 Serving Trio
- Food Related Gifts That Are Non-Parishable
- A bottle of wine, presented nicely or coupled with another small gift like a wine tote
- These Luxardo Maraschino Cherries are a staple in several cocktails that a host is likely to enjoy
- Consider something you personally like and would like to share, like your favorite olive oil
- Things The Host Likes or Needs, but Better
- Upgrade small things you know they already use like grabbing some Maldon Sea Salt
- Consider getting them a more durable apron which every host could use
- Something Unexpected
- Breakfast Pastries for The Next Morning When They are Too Tired To Cook
- A customized gift with a touch of their personality, like this customized oversized match box
What Not To Bring
- Perishable foods or foods that will take up space in their fridge.
- Flowers without a vase that they need to stop and tend to.
- Something that seems completely counter to their style or personality ( don’t get the all-black friend a pastel gift)
4. Mind the Tone
Every party has a tone, whether that’s chaotic or super upbeat, jovial, or laid-back. It’s the host’s job to se the tone but it’s the guest’s job to be mindful of it. You can do this by taking notes for what you see around you, the environment, the music, the entertainment, and the guests. Keep the conversations civil by taking notes from the other guests and don’t bring up topics that you are unsure of or that don’t fit the vibe.
Literally mind the tone by watching your volume and rowdiness. Some people prefer more relaxed dinner parties while others prefer something closer to a raucous night of fun. See which one your host is aiming for and match the vibe.
5. Be Open-Minded
You host has most likely spent a lot of time thinking about and perfecting every detail of this dinner. That means from the appetizers to the drinks, so much effort when into making the final decisions. The best way a guest can show their appreciation for those wonderful intentions is to keep an open mind. This means being willing to try out a bit of everything, play along with games, or give the music a chance. In other words, don’t be a Debby downer, and if you’re really not into something, politely decline, don’t make a scene.
6. Offer to Help Clean Up
As you are the guest, you are not obliged in any way to clean up, however it is very gracious to offer it. After all, the host has done so much to provide you with an enjoyable experience. So, before you leave, stack some dishes in the sink or offer to round up trash. Dinner parties aren’t ragers so there is not usually much to clean up, it’s mostly washing dishes or loading the dishwasher. That means whatever help you offer will be impactful and welcomed.
Being the ultimate dinner party guest is a lot easier than you’d think because ultimately. if the host invited you, they most likely want to be in your company, which takes care of most of your worries. Being a good guests really just means being open to enjoying yourself and the company of others, something that is in the realm of doable.
